testing.....testing....

I do this from time to time where I can never wake from a bad dream. I do this from time to time where I can never say the things I mean.


<3

It was you and I, but mostly me.

Haven't updated because my computer broke a few months ago and although I paid to get it fixed they still never fixed it so I'm working on it. Also I've been going through some things, so it's probably best to take a break from the internet and just indulge in my own therapy, which lately consists of drawing, reading, and learning to play my new ukelele. In the midst of all of that I decided to give up tumblr and Facebook. Deleted both apps from my phone, so they won't be constantly calling out to me. I have a good feeling, maybe it's just optimism.

Smang it

My boyfriend and his friend Brian made a cover for the song 'Lemme smang it' by Yung Humma and Flynt Flossy. Not only is it hilarious but they are also extremely good at what they do. :)

strength

I just want to dedicate this post to all of the strong women in my life. I feel like lately all of my girlfriends and sister happen to be going through life-changing experiences and they have all been so incredibly strong that it has been inspiring to see. My sister being the main motivation for this post. She just recently took it upon herself to change her life for the better, even if that meant breaking it off with her boyfriend of two years...someone she lived with and shared a life with. Not only did she do that, but she is incredibly independent and self-sufficient. Neither of us have had easy lives at all, we have had to grow up in such depressing situations that its easy for her (and I) to just fall apart and blame our past, but instead she chose happiness and is dealing with it so well. I cannot be more proud and I am just so happy to have such a strong little sister.

I think its easy for girls to be emotional and clingly. I think girls now days feel like they have to depend on a man or on another person to have sense of validity in the world. I find that all so sad, and  quite frankly, a little pathetic. I know a few girls who are still holding on to relationships that have ended years ago, and while they are still holding on, the other person is happily moving on. I am sure I have said this before but there is nothing more appealing to me than a girl who is strong and independent. Someone who doesnt depend on others for happiness and strength. Someone who has no problem making decisions on their own and taking it upon themselves to do whats right. I feel like too many people in this world live their lives through others. Whether it be adapting other peoples interests, lifestyles etc...its not a secret that everyone is different and I think that it is quite sad when someone is attached at the hip to someone else. The worse way to waste your life is by being a copy of someone else.

I think I have such strong feelings about this because I went through it myself. I used to be the girl who gave up everything for a boyfriend, moved away for them, changed my lifestyle for them and everything in between. I look back at that now and its embarrassing to know that I was once so weak.  I know that made me a stronger person now, but I wish I had a friend that would've taken their time to slap me in the face and tell me that I was doing it all wrong. Luckily and very thankfully I woke up and I now have the most fulfilling life, just because everything I do is under my own terms. No one is telling me what to like, what to do, how to feel, how to live...everything I do and feel and experience is because I am passionate about it and if no one else around me feels the same, I am more than ok experiencing it all alone. Luckily I have a handful of equally independent and unique friends and family that inspire me and motivate me to continue to be myself everyday. I just want to give a shout out to all my strong, unique, independent and sassy ladies. You guys make my world go round.

Good life

I am pretty bad at keeping up with new music. I know, it sounds crazy coming from someone who is obsessed with music, but I just find a good portion of new music now-days to be annoying. I have been able to find one or two good musicians and bands that are up and coming but I mostly just stick to my old school rock n roll, punk rock and pop punk. So anyway, I came across Tyler Bryant and The Shakedown a while ago when Lisa from The Veronicas posted videos of her and Tyler doing little duets. Naturally I loved it because It was Lisa from The Veronicas but I just had an instant attraction to Tyler Bryants voice. This is probably my favorite song from his new (and only....I think) album called 'From the Sandcastle'. He just recently replied to my tweet which was pathetically exciting BUT he said he is coming to SF on the 4th and 5th of next month....so there.


By the way...he is only 19! Justin Bieber....this is how you make real music, take notes.

"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." - Nietzsche